Ready to Be Fired

Actually, I don't know that it's going to happen, but it seems a distinct possibility. Since my write-up in August, I have done my level best to maintain a low profile. I've tried to keep my interaction with management professional, when I have to interact with them at all. I've done all my work to the best of my ability, whether it's the paperwork or guest service.

A gentleman came up to the desk a little while ago and asked if it was possible to change the channel on the TV during breakfast. I told him that we could put the TV on whatever channel he wanted. Yesterday morning, it was tuned to MSNBC. He told me he prefers Fox, because he likes to hear "the truth". All I said was, "If you say so." I didn't defend MSNBC. I didn't blather on about my own liberal views, or all the negative press Fox have garnered over the years. I didn't call the channel "Fixed News" or "Fox Noise" or anything. I certainly didn't say anything about their blowhard hosts. No, I just said, "If you say so."

The gentleman went out to his car. When he returned a few minutes later, he thanked me for "the information" and went upstairs. I have little doubt that's going to come back to bite me on the ass when the gentleman fills out his guest satisfaction survey. It might amount to nothing, but I have to be prepared for the possibility.

When I'm working, I'm not supposed to have opinions about things, but I'm having ever more trouble suppressing my need to be, and express, who I am.

A couple of weeks back, a big sedan rolled up to the front of the hotel around 0400. A nattily-dressed gentleman climbed out, and I was all set to sell him a room. As it happened, he came in and handed me the latest issue of The Watchtower, a publication of the Jehovah's Witnesses. We were standing under a sign on the wall which prohibits solicitation or "distribution of printed materials...by non-employees". I smiled and told him, "No, thank you." He started to say something about preparing me for "the End Times". Again I said, "No, thank you," and added, "I'm an atheist." The gentleman gaped for a moment before composing himself. He then asked if I didn't want to read it "for entertainment". I said, "No!" He took the hint and departed.

I half-expected that incident to generate some negative feedback, but nothing came of it, and maybe it won't this time, either. I'm just tired of pretending to be someone I'm not. It wouldn't be so hard, I think, if my employers had been a little more understanding about me transitioning. My search for another job continues to be thwarted. There are five hotels within five minutes of my apartment, and none of them are hiring. There are another six in the general vicinity of my current job, but four of them are owned by my employer. There are jobs at the Beach, but I'd eat up a good chunk of my wages driving back and forth to the Oceanfront. So I toil on.

EDIT: 0505 here. I switched the lobby TV over to Fox in order to head off any potential hooha. As I speak, they're showing a repeat of the Glenn Beck program. I've seen bits and pieces of his material on Countdown, but I've never watched it raw and unfiltered like this. The man is scary. Eeeeeeeee...