All that fuss of a few weeks ago turned out for nought. I went back to the business to see exactly what had become of my application/background check, and was told that I had been declined, based on something discovered in the course of the check. They declined to hire me, based on the findings of an anonymous third-party agency. When I asked why, they couldn't tell me, so it's all on the anonymous agency.
That's okay. I didn't want to work there anyway.
Bullshit. I'd take anything on offer at this point. Crap jobs, shit jobs (and there is a difference), anything available, so long as they pay something.
The last time I was out of work this long, I started thinking about self-harm. That's enough of that.