So here I was, on my third weekend off in a row, with no plans for my nights off. I emailed around to see if anyone was doing anything, and ended up hooking up with my friend Debbie. We had a nice, casual dinner (Red Robin), then went to the movies, where we saw 'Gran Torino'. This is the latest film starring and directed by Clint Eastwood. It's a beautiful story, not quite what I was expecting.
While we were at dinner, Debbie corrected my language once. I should have said, "May I", instead of "Let me". This wasn't the first time she's reproached me on something I did or said, that wasn't ladylike. We were at a club last year, waiting to get into the ladies room (one toilet). When I got my turn, in the interest of speed and trying to be considerate of the ladies behind me, I peed standing up. I was wearing jeans. My male genitalia are functional, despite being useless. I got out of the bathroom in record time. I told Debbie what I'd done, and she acted like I'd sinned or something. Apparently, I was supposed to pee sitting down, even though no one could see me, and no one would have known, otherwise.
On a related note, I've been thinking about something all week. I attended a meeting of the Richmond-area James River Transgender Society last April. One of the members there gave a presentation on the importance of planning transition. She gave a step-by-step plan of how she transitioned. This lady is of an old school. She talked about moving to new community, changing jobs, cutting ties with people and finding new, more feminine hobbies. I don't have many hobbies, but I don't want to give any of them up. I'm an aircraft nut, and I love to go to airshows and take pictures. I take lots of pictures, and not just of planes. I love video games. I am a mediocre player, but I love the "Halo" series. Give all that up and take up knitting? I don't think so.
Hey, girlfriend. My take on the peeing issue: If you're in a single room restroom like a family room, pee however you so choose. If you're in a public women's restroom, where others can see which way your toes point, ALWAYS sit lest you stir up a hornet's nest! Since you said no one would have been able to tell, I'm guessing you were in a fairly safe area. Still, for me, anytime I'm in public, I sit when using the restroom. Heck, I'm finding that to be the case when I'm at home too!
ReplyDeleteBy the way, I've been reading your blog when I'm at work via my blackberry. I may not comment, but I'm reading! ;) Keep it up!
Oh, transition. I never really had a plan for it, still don't, really, just taking it one step at a time. See, the thing about transition and planning is, it's great if you go about and make this big plan for how you're going to do anything, but transitioning can be such a mind-opening experience that those plans can change. A lot.
ReplyDeleteIf you want to plan it out, awesome, go for it! If not, awesome, too! Transition in the way that feels most comfortable to you! (After all, you're the one who's going to have to live it)
Also, girls totally play video games. And play sports, look at aircraft, say "Let me," do science, enjoy working with computers, rebuild car engines, and, yes, even pee standing up (even cisgender women!). Anything that a person can do, there are girls out there doing it. Define your own femininity, your own gender. Everyone's is different.
I agree with LLLLL up there. My son is totally into trains and cars, but what he'll take with him over the years is the time he spent on my lap, learning to knit. And you know I've always been a gamergrrl. Nothing says that men can't knit or women can't game except the people who try to define the punk and blue boxes that the rest of us refuse to fit in.
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