Thursday, August 20, 2009

Changes Coming

Nate (my brother/roommate, for anyone just coming in) presented me with a prospect for the future a couple of days ago. Last week his sons (my nephews) returned to Florida with their mother after visiting for most of the summer. They came up at the end of May, and were only supposed to be with us for about six weeks. While they were here, their mother had some unexpected surgery, and asked us to watch them for another month or so. Since they moved to Florida, Nate's only seen them a few times, usually for a week, so he did not have a problem with that. They were here a total of eleven weeks, almost, and having them here became routine, normal. Nate got used to being a father again, and it hurt almost as much as it felt good, because he knew they'd be leaving again, and they won't be back until Thanksgiving.

After they left, Nate talked to his ex for a good bit, and she has started looking at inexpensive rental properties in their part of Florida. Nate's talking about moving south to be closer to the boys. Whatever happens, he's going to Florida. My own situation is what's up in the air right now. Should I move with him? Should I stay here? If I stay, I definitely won't be keeping this place. It's too much apartment for one person, and not really economical for two, unless both are making beaucoup money. On the one hand, Florida would be a nice place to make another attempt at a clean start. They have a HUGE hotel market, so it's not like work would be a problem, not with my resume. On the other hand, they don't offer anymore protection for trans workers in Florida than Virginia does. I'd be better off moving out West (NV, CA) or up North (ME, NY) than running further south. Plus, I've spent the last two years here trying to build a life, and I've got friends and activities and stuff. The internet is great for maintaining friendships and acquaintances long distance, but I'm not looking forward to starting all over again, again.

Nate hasn't completely made up his mind, and won't decide until late September or early October. That gives us some time to plan.


  1. Jaye, that's really tough. Having a steady home life has to be the best thing I ever achieved and I don't envy you the effort of starting over, I can only offer my best wishes and hope you have some good luck.

    Caroline X

  2. Tough decision! Of course I'd miss you if you went, but you gotta do what's best for you. G'luck figuring everything out.