Tuesday, June 8, 2010

What Is That About?

My friends know my love-hate relationship with Facebook. I love being connected to my friends and family. It's been especially valuable in that way since I moved to Florida. I've also made some new friends. Some are friends of friends, others are people who share interests. My friend list jumped a bit when Mass Effect 2 came out. Some of my friends came to my attention because Facebook "suggested" them. That's how I came to be "friends" with a few celebrities. What brings me out tonight are the outliers. I'm speaking of the friend requests I've gotten from complete strangers who don't even share any interests. I know some people collect friends on Facebook, under some sort of "she who dies with the most friends on Facebook" vibe. That doesn't bother me too much.

What does get me is that I think some of my friends are guys with a trans fetish. Some of these men are Middle Eastern, or East African. I'm always open to making friends in new places, so I usually accept friend requests from strangers in faraway places. Occasionally I wonder what prompts their friend request, but I don't always give it a lot of thought. That may have to change.

A little while ago, I was playing a game on Facebook (Bejeweled Blitz, if anyone cares). I don't know why, but people always open chat windows when I'm playing a game. It's a minor annoyance, because my system freezes up while the chat applet sorts itself out. Anyway, I was playing the game, and I got a chat pop-up from a recently-added friend in Turkey. I won't share the whole chat, but it went something like this:

Him: hi

Me: (after checking to see the time in Turkey) Good morning.

Him: how r u?

Me: tired. it was a long day.

Him: why?

Him: cam plz

Him: i mean webcam

So already I'm a little suspicious. Why does he want to cam chat?

Him: r u male?

AHA! We come to to the heart of the matter.

Me: you read my profile?

Him: yes

Me: you know im trans?

Him: yes

Me: I am transitioning, but am not full-time yet

Him: do u have a male body?


Me: yes

Him: oh

That was the end of that. So, it's cool that I'm trans, but not cool because I'm not trans enough. I get it now. He wanted to see my breasts. Men are pigs.


  1. Good to know the spirit of Mahir Cagri is alive and well.

    It's funny, on reading your last sentence, my reaction. I can only agree with your assessment of him, but as someone transgendered who's stuck in blokedom there's part of me that wants to say "Hang on! Some men... ". You've triggered a "Boy vs. girl" moment in my fevered brain! :)

  2. Where do they come from and do they get any results?

    I tried letting someone like that in a while back and soon found them a pest, it instigated my ruthless entry system. You, well perhaps not, would be surprised how many will not send a message explaining how they found me and why they feel ewe should be friends.

    That is practically all there is on my profile! how stupid can people be?

    Guess I will never reach the 5000 friend limit!

    Caroline xxx

  3. Jenny, I apologize if my post provoked any awkward feelings. I too am trapped in the limbo that is my masculinity, so I understand. To most of society, I appear to be a man, and I suppose I meet all of the legal definitions thereof. It's just that I no longer view myself that way. This is one of those places where I find myself empathizing with other women.

    Caroline, I think they go trolling for the word "trans" or something like it. I think it ties into the whole thing of wanting girls with male parts. If she has breasts and a penis, then they're not gay. How that fits them in, in a country which has traditionally been open to homosexuality and transgenderism, but now has a rising tide of Islamism, I do not know.

    Incidentally, upon reading Caroline's comment, I resolved to go back on FB and remove this person from my friend list. As it happens, it seems he un-friended me, so he saved me the trouble. I wanted to do that. Now I have the experience of being dumped by someone I was going to dump. Here comes that empathy again.

  4. They are... they are all over Windows Live, where I used to have a blog, and you would not believe how many requests I would get for Messenger friend acceptance. Not the kind of popularity one wants.... almost as creepy as when I mistakenly joined URnotAlone, and some guy emailed he wanted to lick my feet!


  5. I've had this happen to me. I just tell the offender something disgusting like, "Oh, I'm just chowing down on a bowl of buffalo diarrhea"

    Seems to work like a charm ;)