No Fooling

Today is April Fools Day, and I'm not celebrating. If you want some appropriate tomfoolery, it's all over the web today. Google turned itself into "Topeka" for the day. Southwest Airlines produced a spot wherein they introduce the new trailer that's going to be towed behind their jets. A Polish website announced that Bioware are doing a Mass Effect game for the Wii. (Actually, that last one might be true, but as I said somewhere else, until Bioware says so, it's vaporware.)

I am still looking for work, though with not as much gusto as I had a few weeks ago. The job market here sucks just as badly as the one in Virginia. In an ironic turn, I actually moved away from a resort area again. There are lots of hotels here, but the only job listings Ive seen have been for the low-paying non-guest service variety. Tips are nice, but I want a job that pays a real wage, thank you very much.

Lately my thoughts have turned to returning to Virginia. It's not really feasible at the moment. I'm broke. There wasn't enough tax taken out of my wages last year, so I'm not going to get a refund. I've got no friends here, and as great as family can be, it's suffocating to have them all here, all the time. I want to honor my mother's wish that we all stick together, but I don't want to live with my brother forever. If I'm ever going to be able to transition, I've got to get out on my own, or at least out from under him.

The sad part is, I may have to take a job here for a time, just to raise enough money to get myself back home. I'd hate to do that to someone, work for a time, then run away. I may have to part with a lot of stuff, as I can't see taking it all with me, again. Hey, if I have a big enough sale, that might help to raise the money, right? I just don't know.

Progress in Florida, continued

http://www.tallahassee.com/article/20100324/NEWS01/3240319

Apparently I didn't read the original story right. The Leon County Commission voted yesterday, 4-3, to tentatively approve the measure. The final version won't be ready until late April, with a public hearing scheduled for May. I hope this thing passes. The comments posted there and on another news site are all negative. One commenter said that they accepted gays, but "couldn't get past the transgender thing".

Out of the Mouths of Babes

I was out in the yard watching my nephews for a bit this afternoon while dinner was being prepared. They were playing with a miniature badminton/tennis set, but they weren't using as intended. They're six and seven, so I cut them some slack. Anyway, I glanced away for a moment, and I hear the youngest shout, "You hit my boob!".

I turned around to see what was wrong. His brother whacked him high up on the chest, almost at the shoulder, with a ball. I told him, "That's your chest. Little boys don't have boobs."

I can't believe I said that.

Progress in Florida

http://www.tallahassee.com/article/20100321/NEWS01/3210329

I have MSNBC set to feed me headlines from the Tallahassee Democrat, what passes for a local newspaper around here. I haven't been here long enough to get a feel for the local politics, or most of the news that pops up, but the headline on this one caught my eye:

"Leon County mulls LGBT rights"

Leon County is where I live, and they're preparing to debate proposed legislation which would prevent discrimination in the workplace and housing against individuals for being G, L, B or T. I might try to get to the city center Wednesday to see what happens. This is especially of interest to me because I'm still looking for work.

On a related note, I met another trans person last weekend. She's a friend of a friend. She's not under a doctor's direct care, but she's taking hormones, and growing breasts. We had a couple of disagreements. One of them was based on her insistence that I should give up my beloved heels in order to better pass. I thought they stopped telling tall GGs not to wear heels years ago. Why the double standard for transwomen?

I miss my people in Virginia. I know I'm lousy at maintaining contact with people, and I can feel the support from afar, but I miss having someone to hug. No offense to Mister Sock.

Weird, but Okay

Last Friday evening I was detailed to baby-sit my nieces while everyone was out of the house. Actually, there wasn't much sitting involved, as the children are mostly self-sufficient. Sarah, who is 14, is usually competent to look after the rest, who are 10 and 11. Mostly I was asked to keep an ear out in case they got rambunctious or needed help with dinner.

I went out into the garage to rummage through boxes from the move. I've got most of my clothes in the house, and some of my jewelry, but I've misplaced the box containing my stud earrings. After a short, frustrating search, I was called back into the kitchen to help Sarah with dinner. She asked me what I was looking for, and I told her I was looking for my earrings. She gave me that look. Then she looked down at my feet (I got a pedicure last week) and pronounced that all I needed was a dress, heels and a tiara, and I could be a princess. She was joking.

I told her I was only missing the tiara.

I broke down and gave her the CliffsNotes version. She asked a couple of questions, which I answered, then she told me I was "weird, but okay."

It's a little thing, but I'll take my acceptance wherever I can find it. Small steps, right?

All Is Forgiven

I spent the last post venting my spleen, even though I didn't go into specifics. Today Florida showed a glimmer of being the land I thought I'd escaped to. We went out this morning to catch my nephews' last soccer games of the season, and the high temp today was 68 degrees. I was running around in a tee shirt in late February, and it wasn't some fluke of climate change. I am not 100% pleased with my living circumstances, but at least there was a small payoff in the weather.

Still Here, More or Less

I've been meaning to update this blog for several days, but I don't like to whine, and the last few drafts have quickly devolved into litanies of everything that hasn't gone right since the move. Just typing out that last sentence cranked up my blood pressure by a few degrees, so I'll try to stay positive. Or not.

Let me say this: if I had known life here was going to be like this, I'd have used the money for my plane tickets to place my things in storage and moved into a homeless shelter before coming to Florida. I'll write a bit more when I can compose a thought without conjuring my own hate and discontent.