Saturday, May 9, 2009

Waterboard Me!

Regular readers of this blog have probably noted that I am a regular viewer of the MSNBC program Countdown with Keith Olbermann. It hasn't always been so. I used to just watch "straight" news, with little or no commentary. Mom used to love watching Countdown, and it was something we bonded over. I became a regular viewer after I moved back to Virginia, and I try to not miss it. It's not always great, but it's rarely boring (except when Keith is off and David Shuster hosts, but that's a story for another time).



Keith Olbermann is frequently at odds with his "rivals" at the Fox News channel. One particular issue that sticks in his craw is our government's use of torture, contrary to international law. A couple of weeks ago, Sean Hannity, a Fox News personality, "jokingly" offered himself as a subject for waterboarding. Hannity's guest made an aside about using the occasion as a money-raising event for a military charity. The following night, Olbermann made the offer of $10,000 for charity, for every second of waterboarding Hannity endures. Sounds like a good deal, no? Apparently not, as Hannity has never responded to Olbermann's offer. Each since, Keith has counted the days since Hannity's offer, and his own counter-offer. I like Keith, but I'm a little tired of this shtick.

I have a proposal: waterboard me. Don't misunderstand. I KNOW waterboarding is torture, and I have no great desire to be tortured by anyone, for any reason. This ongoing dispute is standing in the way of Mr. Olbermann giving his money to charity. I see no reason to prolong the process. If Mr. Hannity will not submit himself for charity waterboarding, I offer myself instead. I'll admit, waterboarding me lacks the cachet of doing it to someone like Mr. Hannity. I'm just a half-out transgender blogger, while Mr. Hannity is a Fox News blowhard. I also don't represent any charity organization, but there are plenty of military/veteran charities out there, and I'm sure any one of them would stand up for Mr. Olbermann's money.

EDIT: I did not discover until very early this morning that Wanda Sykes covered this in her White House Press Association Dinner monologue. Just in case anyone thinks I was trying to steal her material.