Monday, May 11, 2009

Not an Original Idea in My Head

I had a piece all laid out. A few years ago, while working the night shift, I started contemplating the weird relationship that seems to exist between pop music and the practice of stalking. I began to compile a list of songs, some overtly hostile, others more subtly sick. I found lots of fodder for my thinking. I was all set to post it yesterday, as the inaugural bit of my off-topic rants. I just wanted a reference for a song title I was going to mention. In the course of my search, I discovered a number of articles, already written on the subject. They cite all of the songs I listed, and a few more besides. "AAAAAUUUUUGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!" as Charlie Brown used to say.

As an adjunct to the stalking piece, I wrote a little bit about the music of Tori Amos. I love Tori Amos. What's not to love? She's a brilliant musician, maybe a little crazy, and a redhead to boot! She originally entered that line of thought because of a song that appears on her third album, Under the Pink. The song is entitled "The Waitress". I wanted to write a serio-comedy bit about playing her music, as a man. I thought it must be deliciously funny to be able to write and play some of the stuff she's written, being a woman. Can you imagine a man singing the following:

I want to kill this waitress
She's worked here a year, longer than I
If I did it fast, you know that's an act of kindness

But I believe in peace
I believe in peace, BITCH!...

See what I mean? A male player in a piano bar would be tossed out into the street, or worse.

Alas, I can't play a piano for anything, and the dream died.